Next weekend came, and he didn’t show up. I cried uncontrollably till I was exhausted, I felt so worse because I got my hopes up, thinking he’ll come and apologize and start things afresh.
So for him not eventually showing up shattered those hopes. And he did not even have the courtesy of calling to apologize for not coming.
Some weeks later, I had an interview to attend, so I took permission from the school principal.
On my way back from the interview, I ran into one of our friends, we graduated from the same school. We chatted for a while and he congratulated me on Tunde’s new job in an oil company.
I was shocked to the bone, but I quickly put myself together, I smiled and thanked him.
“I heard he now lives in banana Island, I’m happy for you guys. We are waiting for your wedding invitation o” he said gleefully.
“Thank you very much, sure we’ll invite you for the wedding once we fixed a date” I said with a fake smile.
The guy left and I was yet to recover from the shock. Tunde now works in an oil company and I knew nothing about it!
I took the BRT bus and went straight home. I know I’m useless for that day, even if I return to school, I know I won’t be able to concentrate.
I called one of the staff and told her I won’t be coming back to school that very day.
On Saturday, I went to Tunde’s old house to see his neighbor. I’m very sure he’ll know where he stays in Banana Island.
Luckily for me I met the guy at home. I told him what I found out about Tunde’s new job and house.
He told me he doesn’t know where he stays. I begged him in tears to tell me because I’m very sure Tunde can’t move out without telling him.
He was moved by my tears, I could see it in his eyes. He picked a pen and paper and wrote the address down and handed it over to me.
“Please he mustn’t know that I gave you the address”
“I promise I won’t tell him” I assured him.
“Pamilerin! He called out as I was about to leave”
“Yes” I answered
“I think you deserve better”
I did not understand what he meant by that statement. I thanked him and left.
I did not have enough money on me to take me to and fro to the place, so I stopped by a bank and use the ATM machine to withdraw some money.
I located the house and I still find it hard to believe that my boyfriend now leave in luxury.
I knocked at the gate and the gateman opened the door, after serious questionings he decided to call his Oga using the intercom.
He told me his Oga is not in. I couldn’t believe my ears, I begged him to let me in but he declined.
I brought out my phone from my hand bag, I called His line for like 10times, it rings severally but he refused to pick up. I then sent him a text.
“Please let me in, if not for anything, but for old time sake”
I stood in front of the gate, waiting for his reply.
[05/03 14:03] Tunrayo Wunmi: Episode 8
I got back home and rushed into the bathroom, I opened the shower, sat down on the titled floor and wept. I took my sponge and scrubbed every part of my body, just to wash his filthy hands off me. I was in the bathroom for God knows how many hours. In the bathroom, I thought of so many things, it was a time of reflection for me.
“Enough is enough, I think it’s time to go back to God” I said to myself
I came back into the room, knelt down and cried to God for forgiveness. I made a promise to God never to indulge in any sexual act again until I get married.
I made so many promises to serve, obey him and all. I put off my phone and slept.
The next day I put on phone and his message pop in.
He apologized for what happened the previous day. I was still reading his text when his call came in. I decided to pick it after several rings.
“Baby, I’m so sorry, I was really tired yesterday”
I didn’t say a word and he continued ranting over the phone.
“Baby please say something”
“What do you want me to say, when did you become this bad, this is not you”
“Please just forgive me, please….”
“Hope this won’t happen again?”
“It will never happen again, I promise”
“I have a condition” I said
“What’s the condition”
“No more sex”
He laughed. “I know you are saying this because you are angry, all the same, I’ve heard you”
“You are laughing right! you think I’m joking, I’m dead serious”
“I’ve heard you, is that all?”
“Yes, for now”
“OK my love, I’ll talk to you later”
He ended the call and I couldn’t help but cry. I’m I in a right relationship?” I asked myself.
He acted normal for a month. He calls and even visited me twice and after that Tunde shut down again like Nigeria’s electricity.
I was so preoccupied, the only day I can meet him at home is Sunday. But now Sunday is out of it because my schedules are tight on Sundays too. Ever since the last incident, I’ve been committed in Church.
After church service I’ll have to attend meetings upon meetings and by 5pm I’ll have to be in the house fellowship which I can’t afford to miss being the new house fellowship leader.
For like two months I did not set my eyes on him. Now he doesn’t pick my calls and of course he never return my calls. The reality of loosing him now hit me. I cried my eyes out when it dawn on me that my 5years relationship is crumbling before my very eyes.
Everybody knew us to be an item, my family, his family, friends, What will I tell them. It’s 4months gone and we did not see each other despite the fact that we both stay in the same Lagos.
I called my cousin, Joy and told her what was going on.
“Pamilerin, don’t stop calling him”
“Even if he’s not picking my calls?”
“Yes, keep on calling and please create time and go see him . So that it can be said of you that you did your best”
“I’ve heard you. I’ll find time and check on him”
On Sunday, I decided not to attend all my Sunday meetings just for me to see him. I went to his house but to my surprise, I met the room empty. I was told he had moved out, the guy I met in his compound said he had no idea of where he relocated to.
The guy asked how come I never he knew he relocated.
I took his question for an insult. But he is right, how will my boyfriend move out without my knowledge
“Do you remember the last time you visited him?” he asked.
“Ehn ehn! He moved out the second day”
My hand bag and phone fell from my hand.
“Are you sure of what you just said?”
“Yes, I’m sure because I asked after you when he was parking and he said you left the previous evening”
I refused to believe the guy. Tunde had another friend in the compound, I checked on him, but he was not around. I left the place troubled, I called him severally and he did not pick my calls.
I returned home in the evening and I texted him, he called back and told me he’ll come to my house the next weekend, I asked him where he relocated to but he refuse to disclose his new address.
Some minutes later, the gateman opened the gate and led me into the house. The house was beautiful, the sitting room was tastefully furnished.
I stood in the sitting room waiting for him to come out, he joined me later, we exchanged cold greetings.
“How did you know this place?”
“Walls have ears you know! do you expect me to just fold my hands and do nothing about us”
“Why are you here?”
“Tunde, I’m here for just one reason, where did I go wrong?”
“Pamilerin, you did not do anything wrong, I know I promise to come see you but have been very busy”
“I think by now you should have a better excuse than ‘busy’ or what do you think?”
“I wish you could understand”
“Understand what? that you left because of all this”
“This has nothing to do with my present status”
“Just give me some time to clear my head, because right now I don’t even know what I want”
“I get it, after five years… you want something new right? you are bored with us”
“Don’t put it like that, please give me time..”
He was still talking when I saw a lady walked down the stairs. She was wearing a crop top on a bum short. She’s fair and her skin was glowing like that of a super model.
I’m not bad myself, that is obvious but this lady is one of those who spend every penny they have on looking good.
“Baby can you please give us some minutes, I’ll meet you upstairs” he said to the lady.
Baby! I exclaimed
“I’m sorry I can’t, who is she anyway?” she asked Tunde.
“She’s a friend”
“A friend! so she’s the baby and I’m the friend right! now I get it” I said
“I don’t care who she is, but I need her to leave this place this minute before I call security to throw her out” she yelled
“Tunde I’m not leaving this place until you answered my question or don’t you think you owe me an explanation. You got a new job, you even relocated without telling me, God knows I did not deserve this from you”
“Stop right there gold digger, so that’s why you are here, to reap where you did not sow!” the lady launched at me.
“That should be my line, Don’t you know you are the gold digger here, reaping where you did not….
Before I finish the statement, her hands had already landed on my cheek, I stepped forward and returned the slap. Tunde hurriedly stood in between us.
“You watched her slap me and you do nothing about it? She lashed at Tunde
“Antonia! but you slapped her first”
“Really! I know what to do” She went out, called the Security and they ushered me out of the house.
Tunde said nothing, he watched as I was been led out of his house.
I took a cab that carried me straight to my house, thank God I had enough money on me, I cried silently in the cab.
I got a message from him on way home, he apologized for what happened in his house and promised to check on me.
I got home and cried bitterly. This is the guy that I love with the whole of my life, a guy I made so many sacrifices for. I spent five years of my life nurturing this relationship.
He was the only guy I dated all my life. I remembered the abortion and wept the more. I still live with the guilt till now. Even after the abortion I still went ahead to satisfy his sexual pleasures all because I want to please and keep him. I’ve done things I wished I could take back. All because of him.
Now i admit that sex won’t make men stay, they leave when they feel like and they stay if they want to, sex or no sex.
That night I wipe away my tears, took my bath and encouraged myself to forget about him and move on. I told God that night to strengthen me and help me move on because 5years relationship is not a joke.
I ended the relationship within me, having it at the back of my mind that I’m no longer in a relationship, meaning I’m officially single. Its obvious he doesn’t want the relationship either, so I’ll just sit back and wait for the day he’ll come to give his break up speech.
He called on Saturday morning and ask if I was at home, of course I’m at home it’s a Saturday. Some hours later he showed up at my place.
He apologized for not calling or visiting, he talked about the good times we shared, he talked about me having a lovely family and me having a good heart and all that.
And at the end of the whole epistles he said and I quote “Pamilerin I think we need a break”
“A break? Then you must think I’m blind, stupid and gullible. Tunde you and I know we don’t need a break, you don’t need to fool me, I wasn’t born yesterday.
You know exactly what we need and please don’t make me say it for you because I won’t forgive you if you make me say it for you”
“Pamilerin! I love you, but im not just feeling the vibe anymore, Love is not enough you know” he said with Pleading.
“Please cut to the chase and spare me the lectures” I said sternly.
“Ehm actually, things are no longer working out between us, what I really mean is that…we should….end the relationship” he said
I knew already that the relationship is over I just want him to say whatever he has to say and leave me for good, I was that tired.
“Fine, the relationship has ended before now, all this is just formalities. I wish you all the best”
He was shocked at my words. I’m sure he didn’t expect that, he thought I’ll be crying or something or maybe he thought I’ll beg him not to leave, it’s written all over his face that he was shocked at the way I reacted to the news.
I’ve cried my eyes dried before now and I already let go since.
He apologized for not coming out straight in the first place and with that we ended it.
In the evening, I went to my parent’s bedroom, and explained everything to them.
“Pamilerin, so you two have been having issues all this while and you never mentioned it? My Mom asked sounding worried.
“Mummy, I was trying to give him time, I thought things will get back to normal”
“So where did he expect you to start from now, ehn!” she lamented
“Eh! Woman, what will your Lamentation solve now. You should even thank God that we discover his true identity early” My Daddy said firmly.
“I thank God oooo, broken relationship is better than a broken marriage. Who would have thought that, that boy would change like that” My mom said putting her two palms together.
“Daniella! My daddy called out as he fondly calls me.
“Sir” I replied
“Every disappointment is a blessing, and if one door closes another will open. So please try as much as possible to move on with your life”
“Yes sir, thank you sir”
“Jo oko mi ma ronu o” (myndaughter, please don’t brood about it)This is just a sign that Tunde is not yours. Please be strong, ehn!” Mummy added.
“ Mo ti gbo ma” (I’ve heard you ma) I replied.
I knelt down and thanked them.
“Good night sir/ma”
“Good night” they chorused.
I told my siblings were still in the sitting room, I broke the news to them too. There’s no point calling any friend, they’ll find out sooner or later.
I called my cousin, Joy. She’s preparing for her wedding with the same guy that got her pregnant when we were still in school. At least there are still few loyal ones out there. I guessed I wasn’t lucky with mine.
“Dear cousin, what’s up”
“Joy, Tunde broke up with me, he’s seeing someone else”
“It’s a lie, tell me you are joking. After all this years….”
“I’m not joking” I took my time and explained everything to her.
“That’s his lose my dear, just take heart, I believe God will provide someone far far better than him”
“Please don’t kill yourself over one stupid son of Adam o”
“Me! Never. My sister how’s the wedding preparation going?” I asked brushing my own issue aside.
“Leave that for now, Let’s focus on you now”
“Joy…. There’s nothing to focus, Let’s just say that’s how God want it.
She told me about the latest plan on ground, before i ended the call.
I prayed that night thanking God for giving me the strength to handle it, while I was praying few drops of tears left my eyes, but trust me I wasn’t down or broken.
I told myself “Isaac Oluwapamilerin Daniella the sun will shine again”. With that, I slept off.
When someone hurts you, you learn to be stronger…..When someone leaves you, you learn to be independent #
After my break up with Tunde, I kept myself busy with work and Church activities. I don’t party or club but I make sure I use my free time to engage myself in things that makes me happy. I fed my soul with good music. Yes music is food for the soul.
Sincerely I enjoyed my single status, I was free, I don’t owe anyone any explanation for my life, I do things my way and I buy less recharge card. I know how much I spend on recharge cards when I was dating.
My Parents were very happy because I was happy. My Daddy called me once and told me “I never knew you are this strong, I’m proud of you”
He actually said this after My cousin’s wedding. My cousin got married to her Price charming, her wedding was awesome. I was there for her all through.
I just told him “Daddy, the Joy of the Lord is my strength.
What doesn’t kill you, make you stronger.
Five months later, I was in my room relaxing after doing my chores. I was about to see a movie on my laptop when I heard my phone ring, I looked around for my phone then I noticed the sound is coming from the bathroom.
I remembered I left it there when I washing. My Mom always warn me not to take my phone to the bathroom, but I love listening to music when washing or doing other chores.
In my Mummy’s voice “The day that phone will drop inside water, ehn. Thank God you are working, you know how easy it is to earn money”
I rushed into the bathroom to pick my phone. I checked the caller Id it was an international number, I was wondering who it was, although I have few friends abroad, but we only communicate via social media platforms, we rarely talk on phone.
“Hello” I replied, please who is this?
“This is Daniel on the line calling from America, please I’d like to speak with Mr Paul” he said in American accent.
“Sorry, this is a wrong number” I informed him.
“Wrong number? He said from the other end. Please hold on while I checked the number again.
“I just rechecked this is the number I was given” he said
“Well, I’m sorry this is my line and obviously I’m not Mr Paul”
I expected him to end the call but he did not, I suspected he’s some how disappointed.
“Oh…my… goodness” he said stressing each word.
Any problem” I asked just feeling concerned.
“I’m coming to Nigeria on a business trip tomorrow and he’s suppose to help me settle down and show me around. Mr Paul is a cousin to a friend of mine whom I can’t even reach right now. He’s busy with his project somewhere in East Africa and I can’t reach him over there too” he explained.
“Sorry about that, I said. Do you know his email address, if you do then you can mail him”
“Yes I have sent numerous mails to him, I called this line because he did not reply any of my mails”
“Ok let’s try it this way, use his email address to search for him on facebook, then maybe you can be lucky to get his mobile no or other information about him on facebook” I suggested.
“You are a life saver, you know I never thought of that,I was so anxious to get through to him, I couldn’t think straight. That was a good suggestion, thanks for your time. Despite the fact that I’m a stranger, you still took your time to find me a solution. Thanks I appreciate it. What’s the name” he asked
“Pamilerin, but if you can’t pronounce that you can call me Daniella”
Of course I can, I’m Nigerian and I’m yoruba but I’ll prefer Daniella since my name is Daniel” he said jokingly. Thanks for your help”
“You are welcome”
Thanks once again and have a great weekend.
“You too, bye” I replied, then the line went off.
[05/03 14:03] Tunrayo Wunmi: Episode 14
Days later, I got a call from him.
“You know I’m travelling next weekend and I really wish we could meet one more time before I leave” he said
“Is that really necessary, we can talk on phone” I said
“Daniella, I really had a nice time the other day can you please oblige me?”
“I told you I’m always busy during the week, there’s no way I can meet up with you”
“Are you saying I won’t get to see you before leaving?”
“When exactly are you leaving?”
“Ok, let’s do it this way, we could meet on Saturday at the Airport and keep you company until your flight is ready to take off”
“That idea is not bad, I’m happy you’ll be the last person I’ll see before I leave but I would have loved it if we meet before then” he said.
“Sorry about that”
“Promise me you’ll find time to chat with me everyday online before saturday”
“We’ll see on Saturday”
“Saturday it is then, good night and sleep tight”
“Good night” I said and the line went off.
Seriously, I don’t trust all this America based Nigerian guys, some just come down to Nigeria and trick girls, some will even claim single when they are happily married with kids over there. But there’s something about Daniel that seems different. He sounds honest, sincere and I think he’s transparent. You can read him like a book. I feel safe with him as a friend.
During the week, we chatted online, I don’t know why but I feel free with him, we talked about so many things via chat. He also made it a point of duty to call everyday during the week.
On Saturday, I left my house for Muritala Mohammed Airport. I called him when I got there and he told me where to meet him.
He was so happy when he saw me, Mr Paul was with him too. He hugged me, I greeted Mr Paul when he released me.
“Looking beautiful as ever”
“Thanks, you are not looking bad yourself” I said shyly
We sat at the departure, Mr Paul got us some light refreshments.
“I’m coming back next month by God’s grace” he said
“Are you coming back finally” I asked
“Yes, my IT company is kicking off next month, we’ve succeeded in putting everything in place, thanks to God and off course Mr Paul has been of great help”
“That’s nice, I’m happy for you. Thank you Mr Paul” I said facing him.
“Thank God, I’m glad everything turned out well too”
I got to know that Mr Paul owns one of the most prominent IT firm in Lagos
“Daniella! I already told Mr Paul to get me an accommodation before I come back so I won’t have to stay in the hotel when I return” Daniel explained.
“That’s good, you already have everything planned out” I said.
We all continue chatting, Mr Paul asked for my number and we both exchanged numbers. He also gave me his complimentary card.
By 7pm, the public address system announced his flight.
“I guess it’s goodbye” I said
“Yes, and I’m going to miss you and Mr Paul. You guys really made my stay in Nigeria worthwhile”
“I think you’ll miss Mr Paul more, since you are always together since you came to Nigeria. This is my second time of setting my eyes on you “ I said
“You think so, I don’t feel like we just met, I felt like I’ve known you since forever” Daniel countered
“Really! If that’s the case don’t miss me too much then” I said playfully.
“I’ll try not to, he said holding my cheek gently with his hands”
“It’s time to go” Mr Paul announced
“Mr Paul can you please help me take her home” Daniel requested.
“Sure I will” Mr Paul replied him.
Daniel hugged me and whispered slowly into my ears “I will be back”
“I’ll be expecting you” I whispered into his ears too.